Guys Can Fan Girl (Boy) Too!

By Stevie

Puck Bunnies. Hockey Hoes. What ever you want to call them, they exist and they exist in every sport. Women who don’t understand a sport but looooooove the players. It’s bound to happen. But then there are the rest of us. The women who love and appreciate sports for the game, the action, the thrill of competition. Even we are not immune to fan girl moments. Including myself.

Why? Well to be perfectly blunt, my vagina doesn’t go on vacation just because I am watching a sport. I’m not blind. As a heterosexual female who watches hundreds of professional athletes play various sports each year (my favorite being hockey and baseball), I am going to have fan girl moments. These are moments when how I feel can only be expressed with furious and inexplicably violent keyboard mashing. Here is an example:

Claude Giroux

ARFJDAL;SDJFAS;DFJASL;DFJA;FDJAASDFJASKFAHDFASDJFSFKLEJREOWAAOGFJGSFSGDFGPJDFKJGFSFGSSDADSA;LERWR[DF

Hold on…we can make that ten times better…

My two favorite players in one picture AND they are both gorgeous to boot? Yeah. I might fall backwards off my chair. Sue me.

Whew. Now, to be completely honest, Claude Giroux is one of my favorite hockey players and has been for the past few seasons. If only the Pens could lure him away from the Flyers (even though the Pens need another center like they need another concussed player). He is undeniably one of the most talented forwards in the league presently. I actually was not physically attracted to him until 24/7 aired in December, so blame HBO for giving him some humanity and showing his smile. Killed me. Not ashamed.

Then there is Henrik Lundvist, one of the league’s top goalies. How are you not amazed when he is making a show stopping save? On top of that, let’s face it. Hank is the perfect man and what he brings to the table isn’t even remotely fair to any other man on the planet in any sport, any movie, any street corner, anywhere. I question the sanity of any woman who denies that this man is straight out of a fairy tale. Prince Charming, Aladdin, Prince Philip from Sleeping Beauty and that Prince over in England that just got hitched got NOTHING on Hank!

Try to compete with him, men. I dare you.

Then there is this…

And my natural reaction is NOT supposed to be this?

Yeah. Good luck with that.

That all being said, it’s time to move on to the men. Now, I’d like to see a show of hands of how many men out there think Anna Kournikova is a fantastic tennis player?

And we know Hope Solo is good at soccer. Guys having to close the blinds and stock up on lotion when the ESPN Bodies issue came out with naked Hope watering her lawn (an ironically suggestive activity for what men were doing locked up in their bathrooms) was acceptable. But it was ridiculous when every girl in America’s panties involuntarily flew off when we caught a glimpse of Ryan Kesler in the same issue? That makes us puck bunnies?

I’ve got something for you to water…

Can we paste this body on any guy??

And man, that Amanda Beard is such a great swimmer, huh guys? How many races have you watched outside of the Olympics and what race(s) does she swim? Don’t you dare Google it.

Point is, guys are just as guilty, if not MORE guilty of flailing over athletes than women are when it comes to a legitimate caring about the sport situation. Their sports are far more obscure to what is commonly viewed on television and in person, as opposed to baseball, basketball, football and hockey. So please, tell me more about how much you watch volley ball, gymnastics, figure skating, women’s snowboarding, swimming and softball more than once every four years when the Olympics roll around or each summer/winter for the X-Games.

Until you can admit that with a straight face, I’ll continue to dream of the day I find out that James Neal has started washing his hair after every practice.

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12 responses to “Guys Can Fan Girl (Boy) Too!

  1. I love this post I personally think girls are just more obnoxious and blatant about their affection for athletes. As much as I hate to admit it I do love James even though he only washes his hair once a week….it still looks pretty hot to me haha.

    • I agree. I mean, I went to Pens practice today and there were these three girls there all dressed up and waiting for autographs with like a college ruled notebook. You are “huge fans” and you don’t have a shirt or something they can sign? Because you are in a long line of people with shirts, jerseys, pictures, Ice Time issues, sticks, pucks and cards. Soooo… what position does Fleury play girls? And they were cutting in front of most of us in line! RUDE

      • Yeah that kind of stuff frustrates me so much. It just gives such a bad rep for girls that like sports who actually know more about them than who the hot players are. I doubt the players take them seriously anyways! Yes, James Neal is the background of my laptop (I have a bit of a crush if that’s what you want to call it) but I’ve been a Pens fan since I was 12 and it gets annoying to have to prove to guys that I know what I am talking about as far as hockey is concerned. And yes that is very rude! It disgusts me how desperate girls are these days.

  2. Yeah it is really really sad. But you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone! :) It becomes extremely apparent while games are on who knows what is going on and who doesn’t. Oh and around trade time. “Why are you trading so-and-so? He is such a nice guy!” Ummm because no one should get paid $2 million for being a “nice guy.”

    • Haha I know I don’t but it’s sort of a challenge! I love proving guys wrong when it comes to my knowledge of hockey. Yeah seriously! Like I even was saying to my dad the other day how Johnny seems like a good guy but he’s just not reliable anymore therefore I think they should get rid of him. At the end of the day the NHL is a business and each team has to do what’s necessary to stay on top and bring in the money.

      • That is the biggest thing to realize and that is what I was trying to explain to people about the Talbot trade and such. This is a business first and foremost. All sports are and that business aspect fascinates me. Like Garrett Jones on the Pirates. He is supposed to be a power hitter and yeah he has jacked a couple of unreal homers but not that many and his base running is atrocious. He is better at first than in right field because he can’t cause as much damage since he can’t play the wall. I wish the Pirates would get rid of him. but DAMN is he a good looking man!

      • I will be honest I don’t watch the Pirates all that much but I’m happy we can agree that sports are business. It’s honestly such a simple concept you would think anyone could understand it!

  3. Oh good Lord…there are TWO men who look like Tanger?

    Swoon.

    Hockey players have the BEST bodies. I’m just sayin’.

  4. Love this one. It’s even worse when you go to a football game. I have made a lot of guys look embarrassed. I know what you are talking about. I went to the a pens game last year and the things that I heard from the girls behind me. It was all oh look Sid is cute or James is cute. But they couldn’t even tell me what their position is or tell me what icing was. They are making it hard for fans. Of course I noticed how hot some of them are but that is not a reason as to why I watch and attended the game.

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